security, spam,


Andrew Jaquith Andrew Jaquith Follow Oct 13, 2005 · 1 min read
Share this

I’m not a violent man. But I want the person who invented this spam subject line to be killed. Preferably by some method that is at once gruesome and medieval. Drawing in quarters would do nicely. Part of the reason I’m torqued is that I get this particular message so often. But I’m also an armchair grammarian, and I find the diction almost as offensive as its payload. I’ve heard it said that there are more people speaking or learning English as a second language as there are native speakers. This slime-covered, vermin-ridden little weasel’s effluvium is just Exhibit V.

Oh, and while I’m at it — Earthlink can kiss my pucker. I don’t need a notification for every virus you block. Stop congratulating yourselves on the fact that your DAT files are up to date. Come to think of it, just don’t send me the notification at all. 95% of my e-mail (no kidding, I measured) is of the self-congratulatory “we stopped a virus; be grateful” variety. It’s 2005; if my friends are sending me viruses, it means they are 0wned. I can help them with that; but what I can’t do, apparently is rid myself of a cure — these incessant notifications — that is worth than the disease.

Why is this so hard to figure out? Mr. Q, meet Mr. A. Shake hands and play nice. Now go sit down over there next to Mr. Usability.

Andrew Jaquith
Written by Andrew Jaquith Follow
I’m Andrew Jaquith, a Managing Director in financial services. I have worked for JP Morgan Chase and Goldman Sachs. Previously, I was CTO SilverSky, and former analyst with Forrester and Yankee Group. My interests include security and risk, anything data-related, app development, visualization, good writing and spirited discussion.